Its something new.

The holiday's

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 23:30:38 GMT

I been thinking for a long time now about my future Christmas plans, I am thinking about doing a Tyler Perry movie lol and for to a mountain lodge for the holidays. I am only 18 and I am even thinking about kids? “I know, my life has not even started and I want to start a family? “ I have been having dreams about me being a single parent and not married? I mean, I really want to get married and do the family thing, but I have my plan to wait until I have my Masters lol ! But, I ask some close friends about another Idea I had when I am 33 and still lonely lol. For the last five years of my life I wanted to adopt twin boys. I would name one ( Connor O'Neal Johnson) and the other ( Daniel Alexander Johnson). I would rise them by myself and then we there are like 4 or 5 I would love to adopt a baby girl (Makayla Nicole Johnson). I would hope to be happy and my child can have anything there hearts desire! But, I thought about it? Let’s say if i found the right women, would that ruin my chances of getting married if I have three kids? Any who, with the holidays I been thinking about this year and hoping to see the plans for the future! With school, friends, family, and anything else I see coming my way. Christmas is in the morning and I been hearing rumors of new phones coming my way. LOL me and my sister has been looking around looking every where for these phones and not yet found them. i guess I have to wait until the morning lol !!!!!

Merry Christmas !!!!

-Joshua Johnson <3

L-O-V-E and Trouble spelling a true life Warrior !

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:00:13 GMT

Eh, its the holiday's, “Yes that time of the year!” I am for once broke this year for Christmas, so I am only getting gifts for a certain people this year. like, my mother and sister, plus a few friends such as Raven, Reve, and Elliott. I mean that’s true how bad my wallet has toke a beating in my department of finances. So, I am in the middle of devolving a finance plan for these next four years. Like, with enquiries such as future trips, investing in stock, and taking a accounting class. I am totally feeling the stress of a person in the mid 30’s and having finance problem’s. Last night, I went to the movies with my friend Reve and we saw the Princess and the Frog, it was a good movie. It gave black people and women a good name. Lol that chick had two jobs and was working day and night to get hers and I was not blaming her lol. So I am thinking about working at least two jobs next semester, one at the school and a late night job at Wal-Mart in my school’s town. Like, from 9pm-3am kind of swifts. I truly need money and with my parents breaking the bank so much, I have really no choice? I am just going to have to work hard. I wish I was like Reve, I look up to her. Because, even when she is going through something she picks up the pieces and keep going. She works for her mom downtown and its a job. Don’t know how much she gets paid but its a paycheck lol. Either way, I like her because she is head strong! So I am also thinking about my two year plan for school and what I want to do with my life. I am considering of relocating in Miami Florida for school or California Los angles. But, I want to have at seven thousand dollars saved up, by 2013. I am also looking for internships at mental health centers. So, I can get my two years of experience so I can get a job when I get my degree. Well, College right now is ok I guess? I feel that I am alone right now. But, I am going to do well I have my friends like Reve, Raven, Tony, and many more. Man, Tony has been my Rock since I been at college. I see him as my life support, that thing which is keeping me breathing at this point. Like, no homo I wish I could live with him. Like, he is more supportive of my life goals and choices I had made. It’s great to have someone like him in your life (^.^) Smile little one lol that’s a sticker I have now. lol. But, yeah I really want to have a friend go with me when i relocate and get a place together. “Oh did I mention Texas as well on my relocate list.” But, yeah I really thinking about this. Well, in other news I am still single and loving the life of being single lol. But, I am considering of going on the dating market this summer. So I am working out and doing some weightwatchers stuff, I just need work hard and have a workout buddy too. I mean the thing I will do for the four letter word L-O-V-E ! I just need to find the right person, who is good for me and not just jump into the relationship. I want to do it the right way this time around. Not, where I am seeing her breast on the first date. Like, I want to call her a friend go on a couple dates, and have a non-sexual relationship. Kissing here and there, and having a good time. But, I am considering of just staying single until after I get my masters and then do the family thing. Man, being God’s warrior for Christ is a pretty hard job. lol I was telling Reve one day, “ It seems that I can’t get a damn break with God” “ I mean dang God knows I am struggling as it is. But, it seems to shit on my parade all the time. But I got use to it and I learn and pray and keep God in life and keep going. It doesn’t matter how hard I have to work. I am still wearing God’s Armor on me and I feel safe.

- Joshua Johnson

UNKN0WN:)

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:21:23 GMT

hey josh watz up lol SHHHAAAANNNIIIIIAAAAA WWWWAAAASSSS HHHHEEERRRRREEEERE

signed,

Shania N. Johnson

Major, Family, Friends, School, and "Other" update.

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:57:01 GMT

Major- Eh, I been confused with my major again? Like at first I felt like I should I just went back in the field of cooking, but I just couldn't see me doing it as a job. Social work is what I am studying now I guess >.< really I am getting confused with the whole social work thing. Like, I am hearing that you don't make money in that kind of field. Which my career slavery goal is to make nearly $ 75,000 a year if I am lucky. If I could I want to make $80,000 a year. Like, I don't mind to even make $60,000-$65,000 that is a blessing as well. My degree goal is to get my Doctoral degree in Social work. But I looked on-line and I found out that you will be lucky to even make $40,000 a year in Social work with that type of degree. So I am looking into psychology now as a major. I talked to many people about this change and they think its better than Social work. I looked up the slavery for psychology and its nearly $100,000 a year with a doctoral. Reve has been giving me advice on it as well and I can understand it But I want to talk to her in person about it. But, whatever God's plans are for me is fine with me. (* As long as God has a nice check for me lol just kidding.*)

Family- Over the last five years my whole family has been going through hell, meaning marriages are ending, cousins are drawing sides, and lots of hate towards each other. My family within my mother and sister and lucky not in that mess lol. I just wish things would go back to nomal. My aunt and uncle marriage maybe over, my aunt cheated on him and has not been seen at family events in six months. Eh, my grandmother has trying to keep her family together. Then with 2010 coming soon I am scared to see what happens to all of us then. But, out of that me and my mother realtionship is much better now that I am at school. But, we do miss each other, she calls everyday to check on me and seeing if I need anything. This weekend, she came to see and we had a good time like we always do and she left me crying when she let today, :(. My grandma has been a huge support system with my college stuff and I am so happy, that she is helping me out. My father has not talk to me in the last month, idk why but I just know it kind of hurts. Which this is nothing new to me with him anyway. But I just have to move on.

Friend's- Here on campus I have a group of friends who I mention before in my last blog post. Neeshelle, Becky , Nina, Amber , Rea, and lastly, Aaron. Well in the beginning on the week I had to be real with them about how I felt about them acting like third graders. Oh let cross out ~~Nina~~ lol she was on my side. But anywho, its always drama between (" Neeshelle, Becky, Amber and Rea") I forgot to take off Aaron. But either way its always something going on and its crazy. Like fucking four year old shit, so I told them that I am kind of taking a break from them. But every since I talk to them about that, they clam that down. But, I am still going to take a break from them so a while. I have two crushes on these women that go to my school. One of them I liked since the beginning and we talked about, she is loves girls more than guys. :( Bummer, lol but her girlfriend or ex:girlfriend treats her like shit and I can't understand why she still deals with her. Idk but I don't really want to get into that. But this other girl name Jordan and me and her have been talking for three weeks. I been a creeper lately to dig up dirt on her but so far she is clean. lol I am not really wanting a relationship but who knows whats going to happen when I get there.

School- College is going well, I am really trying to do my best and in which brings stress to the table. I been lazy lately, maybe because of that fall break that they gave us. But, either way I am getting A's and B's but my math class sorry to say but I am failing it. Reasons why is because her stupid grade book is off balance and I hate it . Like she gives five point homework and then gives a 100 point quiz and if you don't do good in it, It can lower your grade. I talk to her about it and she said that's college. I was about to snap but its whatever. I am going to get that grade up, no problem. I think she needs to fix it but she said its fine. I don't think I mention about me having a new roommate. Well I do and he is good. Much better than nick lol. He showers and clean and does what I say its like having a personal asst in my room. Today I met his parents and there really nice, they loved how clean I keep everything. So, I knew I they loved stuff like that but we haven't had any issues.

Other- Well besides everything I just mention I am doing fine. I been having lonely issues, like I thought about today and I have friends here on campus. But, I can't see them like I do at home to people who are my friend. Like when i think about it i am alone for the most part here at college. Which I know is not good, I really kind of don't like anyone here on this campus. But I will get over it, and i about to buy my plane ticket to see Raven in Boston for spring break. So I am just trying to get everything together for my next couple of events this year and next year. But i need to finish some homework and I am going to finish my list when i am not so busy.

~Josh

Writers block…

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:18:44 GMT

Its four in the morning? I am still up doing homework and within less then four hours I have a class. Hmmm well I have this paper coming up and I have writers block. I am drinking my four cup of coffee and its keeping me from falling asleep and I know I am going to crash later today hahaha… Like, I had math and other homework stuff that I did first ? But math was really pissing me off so in that class I am going to ask for the extra help. Well I guess I wouldn’t be up at four in the morning if I just work on my time management. I mean I really don’t have much homework I just be hanging out with friends and going places I don’t need to be going besides going to room and doing it. Plus with these plays its making me a train wreck. Thank God none doing the week and that helps me catch up for homework. Plus, I am thinking about dropping out of the face of Emmet till. Its not that I don’t want to do it? Its just that i have so much on my plate and school is more important to me right now. Like, I know its going to piss someone off that i dropped out but its for my future and that matter’s more to me. You know what ? Since I am blogging about it, maybe I should do my paper on how to balance school and play together. But its like how I am going to write a paper on something that I am having problems with myself.Its like I really don’t want to do a paper about myself ? Why, because for some odd reason its more fake and drawn out. I don’t know maybe its getting too late lol. I think this coffee is wearing out on me. But school is going well. I am really missing my family though. I am hearing that there is a lot going home and stuff. I miss going downtown and stuff too and enjoying that good slice of life. “ Oh I got it !!!” I am going to write a paper about my family, my friends, my adventures and more. Oh ok ok ok … Thanks LJ for helping me with this writer’s block I am having lol…

Let me write this down so I can shower and go to bed for class in the morning !!!

Good morning and night LJ !!! :D

I am ... Daniel Conner Fearless Johnson

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 21:55:39 GMT

Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce ...
I blame you lol ...

Well a couple of days ago. I was in my room listening to Ego* Ft. Kanye west. " Which I am still mad at him, about what he did to Taylor Swift." So anywho, my friend was like do you have a Ego. I thought about it for a min and I was I could say " I do" ? So she asked what made me think I have a ego? At this time I was getting kind of annoyed because I really don't know this person that well to express myself to yet. But, due to the begging of conversationI allowed. I called this ego Daniel. I told her its the Passionate, Evil, the painful part of me. Like, I am the more christian, loving, caring and passionate only at the right time's. Daniel is this person inside me, he is the kind of person who would just grab the girl and kiss her and make all the pain go away. He is a tricky fellow when it come's to con and get people do what he wants. He is full of secrets which hunts in him in his dreams. He lives forever and where death is nothing but a dream nothing but FEARLESS.

COMPARE- Joshua Christian Johnson V.s Daniel Connor Fearless Johnson

The real me is a nice, nerdy, sweet at times and caring person. I love hanging out with friends and reading my bible. I loving being a christian and believes that everyone has a voice. I love helping people in the time of need. I hate things that has to do with sex and drugs. partying is not me. I love school and being around people who I really care about. Like, I am not going to front on LiveJournal. I am not a virgin and at times I wish I nevered lost it. I felt that I lost myself with in that. But do I blame Daniel? Lust for many years I have problems with. But do I blame Daniel ? Like, I am tried of hurting my lord and savior and asking him to forgive and turning around and doing it again. It more just lust too, like its just sinning in general. Even, though God gave us the choice to make are own choices. But I am just wanting to get my life together. Daniel is not going to be there at judgement day when I die ? So at this point of my life I am giving to God everyday and he is handling it for me and I am living my life.

5 weeks of being a College Student...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 01:50:09 GMT

Well, I know I have not blog in 5 weeks in which I promised to blog at least once a week. So that's my bad and I am sorry :) . How can I start this blog. Ok, well I am moved in at the Lincoln College campus and it was a good move. I met Nick and his parents and i notice from day one that there was something a little special with this kid. But I just by pass what I was thinking and finished moving in. Well over the course of the three weeks Nick was eating my food and giving away his stuff and mine to other people which made mne really mad. So that was going on for the last couple of weeks and I got sick of it. The room was smelling, he was never taking showers, just a whole list of Nasty stuff this kid was doing. So forced him to move out. Which he did and then he called me out of my name which made laugh when he was packing his stuff up. So after all that drama I had the room to myself for a least a good two weeks. It was really nice being by myself for a while. Anywho my classes are good so far such as my Mon,Wed, Fri, classes are my craziest days. Then my tues, thurs, classes are my relax quick classes which is nice to relax. I have little homework. But it feels that I have a lot to do and its weird. Oh I have a new roommate who moved in a day or two ago. His name is Brandon and he is cool kind of so far. Well, you can't have a perfect roommate. He cleans when I ask of him and he takes showers and hey it works for me. I met some new friends too down here. Its like having a little family down here with them and its fun. There name's are Neeshelle, Becky , Aaron, Caleb , and lastly Trisha. Oh I have a friend who I went to high school with and her name is Nina. I would say that we have been having a good time so far being here and its fun :D !! I am really missing church too. Like, I miss going every sunday and stuff and there churches here in lincoln but I will feel weird about going to diffrent churches and this is a all white town too. So people already look at the young black kids like there weird and stuff. I am also in a play called "8 of 10 play" I am the stage person. Anywho, I really miss Reve and Raven. Oh I can't forget about Elliott and Brian LOLZ !!! But really i do miss them and can't wait for break and stuff to come so we can see each other again. I am just like scared though like when we see each other we all change and stuff. Because I am not the same person I once was and I don't want it hurt my friends. Lastly, I GOT A NEW PHONE !!! I know many people was so happy when I got it. Its the new verison of my old phone. Its good for right now but in 2012 the Iphone is coming to sprint and I can't wait for that lol. Well its time for me to go so I will promisre to blog at one time a week if I can lol.

Oh, there is this building on my campus which I REALLY LIKE IT.
Even, though year's ago this woman killed herself in the building.
But, I sometimes feel that there is something about that building and I am going to discover it.
Who knows lol !!!!

College list of 350+ things I want to do through my four year college career. (“1-50”) U

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 03:19:12 GMT

lj-music: Mix music

01. ~~Move into my dorm room~~

02. ~~Meet my roommate in person~~

03. Get a job even on or off campus

04. Read my bible everyday for 6 weeks straight

05. Stay away from relationships for a whole year

06. lose 5 pounds

07. Erase old habits (“ You know what I am talking about”)

08. ~~Go out with roommate (“non party”)~~

09. Find a good local church

10. Sign up to become Student Body president

11. Take 2 day fast

12. Join or create a African American culture club

13. Lose 13 pounds

14. Join a workout club

15. Workout with my roommate

16. Text raven 25 times

17. Go on a one week fast

18. Go running every morning for one week

19. Get a new phone

20. Try something new. (“ Something you ever did before “)

21. Write a letter

22. Save $2.000 for a car

23. ~~Take a day off from class~~

24. Start a study group

25. Play football (“Getting down and dirty”)

26. Go visit Raven in Boston

27. ~~Go to a Non alcohol party~~

28. Look for other colleges

29. ~~Call mom at least 3 times a week for my first month~~

30. Write a letter to four people about “ How I am doing at school”

31. Go running every morning for 2 weeks

32. Replace pop with water for a month

33. Replace meat with veggies for a month

34. No watching TV for a month

35. Hang out every Friday night for a month with my roommate

36. ~~Call a friend~~

37. ~~Start a study group~~

38. Give a tour of the campus

39. Join more than 3 clubs on campus

40. Go on a date

41. Spend less than 25 dollars a month

42. Lose 17 pounds

43. Visit ANCC on breaks

44. ~~Tell someone that I love them~~

45. Replace pop with water for 2 months

46. Treat myself to something new

47. Write 8 letters to people about “ How I am doing in school”

48. Go running with my roommate one morning

49. Workout One-hour a day everyday

50. Lose 23 pounds

Lucky 7

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 04:23:26 GMT

With only 7 whole days left which equals 168 hours plus the 1 hour left of Aug 1. I have been really busy packing up my life piece by piece. I didn't know how much crap I had until I started. I found a lot of old baby photos and family photos and it felt good looking a this skinny little boy. Yes, I miss those days and I am trying to work to get back to those days. But I really want to give up on this weight loss thing. Like, I kind of blame mom and Shania for it because they would not help me just make things worst. Like, not make me feel bad or look down on myself bad. Just not cooking the right foods and sometimes making jokes. But know I will be on my own, so it should be easier for me to eat the right things and go work-out and stuff.

But, I am having one little issue and that is with my dorm roommate. It’s not like he is a good person I mean we haven’t even met yet. Like, every time when I want to talk to him. He is always busy and i really want to get this dorm stuff down pack you know. I just want to make sure that everything is in order and there is no problems. What we have talk about so far is really nothing but who is bringing a TV and coffee maker and we only had one good conversation over the phone. Where we got a chance to know each other a little more. I hope he likes me “ No Homo” I just want us to be good friends and stuff. I know its going to take time but I just do want it to feel like “ Oh he is just living here”. I don’t know until next Sunday Aug 9 @ 9 am lol.

Another thing I been thinking about lately is how college is going to be. Like I really can’t and I am still working on my list for you guys to see its going to called. “ The 350+ things I want to do in college. The plus is there just in case if I need to add things later in that time period of my college career.

Ok its getting late.

ttyl, :D

-Joshua

Packing up and updates

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 05:13:06 GMT

I just realized that lately I get my thoughts late at night, which makes me feel that I need to blog at night to get things off my mind. Any who today was a ok day. With college less then a week away I been thinking about everything else I would need for my dorm room. But at this point of the game. I will just take what I got already and when I get down there I would just let my parents pay for it and save me money. That's if there is anything else I need so I need to make a note and act like I need something just so that they can buy it. But at this time I am packing up my room and its been a three week process. My goal was to have it packed up in a week of time, but I been to lazy to do it. :( I need to start doing and working on stuff to get ready for school. Like not being up late at night and sleeping in and start studying and getting stuff done on time.

Today, I applied for a job at wal-mart, because I have been thinking about working and going to school so I can get money and get discounts on stuff that I might need later on. I hope I can get the job, but people are telling me its hard to have a job and school. But, I did it before and they told me its different from High School. So right now I really don't know but I do need money. LOL like my friend and like older sister who I look up too Reve. She start working with mom as a personal assistant and makes good money. I wish I can find a job like that. So I texted her today and ask her to let me know if anyone needs a personal assistant next summer. Even though I will only be a temp, but Reve made good money those months she has be working there.

As, I was getting ready to go New Car shopping with my mom in looking for a car me. But we failed on that because she got from work to late. I hate not having my own car. Like, I really do sometimes feel bad when I am in the car with Danielle and Raven and who ever else. Because I think that they think I am using them. Will I have seen a couple of cars that I like but I really want to get a truck but my mom is not going for it. Its even to big or to small and whatever. Like, when I am always trying to get some done or try to get some I want there is always a issue which makes me feel bad and I just give up.

Lastly, I got a new laptop and I love it. Its a blue Dell and it only cost $499.99 and when you buy a laptop or desktop you can get a all in one printer for only $29.99 and I got the best warranty on it as well so all together I have sent $800.00. Thank God my grandma got it for me as a gift and I love it . My web cam is really nice too I was fooling around with it and got it to work and I was happy. I think this school year is going to be good and I got my AP scores all 5s and one 3. I will soon post my college list of things I want to do in those four years and my classes. So its 12:08am and I need my sleep.

- Josh

The Restart button in my life.

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 05:00:48 GMT

I am back Lj !!!

I know its been a minute but there is and was a lot going on in my life. Which was having me focus more on it then anything. Well, Lj I am finally out of high school and I am so proud of myself and on finishing the year out strong. My grades were up to the highest point which they haven't been like that in year's but I did it. I had got 2 gold rodes for my grades and my AP high classes as well. I hate that people don't see me as a geek cuz I am lol. I really miss school lol " Hush" you didn't hear that from me lol. I am soon going to embark on my new journey which is college. I really can't wait but its something with leaving my family for a long period of time. Which makes me a little worried, its like I am going to miss them for once.But I know they will be ok without me and I can't start worrying about them. Any who, I am starting to back with God and everything and I am changing what kind of music I am listening to and what I am feeding my soul by what I am watching on tv. and trying to work on my potty mouth and that is a big with me. But, what I started to understand the other which has made me come back to Lj is blogging help keep a lot of stress and stuff off my mind. God is still using me and I feel it in my soul and I feel so many blessing that are coming my way. But what i lrean is that you have to give up some of yourself to feel his grace and mercy. I am so proud of myself and this summer is ok. I am really not doing much at all. Just relaxing and chilling for the most part and It has been smooth sailing every since. Like I have a job and stuff but we are not making no money so they can't put people on payroll which sucks and I miss my money lol. But it really mess up my plans to get a car over the summer. So yeah that suck so bad . But out of that there is really nothing much going on in my life right now. Like, I leave to Lincoln College on aug,9 and this like 11-10 days left something like that. But I have met new friends and stuff this summer and this guy his name is leroy and he reminds me of warren and joel my older brothers and me and him fight a lot like warren and joel. But my laptop battery is about to die but yeah I am going to use Lj more often.
Ttyl,
~Josh~

Crying Over Spilled Milk ??? Side Effects are Over !!!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:52:00 GMT

This the face expression you make when you knock over something ? If it broke or spilled all over the floor. Whatever the case may had been. Thats how you look right ?

So as confused you are about how it fell . You grab a paper towel and wipe it up or sweep it. Thats if it broke. Then afterwards you throw it away. Then you Refill or Buy a new one to replace it. Then we Enjoy it again like it was never even gone ???

Only if are life's was like that ??? How would we live knowing that if something happen. How easy it would be to replace it. You can't replace things that mean so much to you. You can replace Love but you can't replace your First lover. You can replace Sex with Reading. But you can't replace the person you slept with. I can change the lover but i can never change the love. I mean i'm young. There are a lot of things i changed in my life for other people's Happiness.

I know i been saying this for a long time. But for me to get where i'm at now. It toke Tears, Blood, and Heart ache. I don't know how many time i wish that i can just replace something in my life. But it doesn't happen likes that. Kept my tear's inside cuz i knew if i started i keep crying for the rest of life with this. I finally built the strength to walk away. But now and then i live with the Side Effects. These was the feelings i was going through :

When I space am I still dreaming 'bout them violent times?
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin' 'bout me tryin' to run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects

I learned and keep learnin. I'm never going to stop.

I'm going to end this with these words... My heart is Broken and still damaged. No more Tears , No more Hate , I'm DONE ! My anger is killing me faster than i think. I'm done adding a new room to this Private Hell i'm living in ! I'm packing my things and leaving. Still hurting but its only for a Season.

~josh~

I know i said this billion of times ???? Part 1 ??

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:44:09 GMT

Hey,

Things are just fine with me right now ??? The last couple of months and weeks have been just really good ? Ok ??? Let me stop i been though alot ? I mean thanks to blogging i let out alot of stress ? Its been almost a year since i started ! But really i made BILLIONS of promises to myself ? I finally had it ? THIS LYING THING ??? (Let me define lying thing???) I keep tell myself i'm going to do something about something in my life ? But it never works out ??? I had enough of doing that ??? I just kind of gotten tired of it ??? I just hope this time i around i can do it ???

Well i have to go my mom is calling me !!!
~Peace and Love~

~JOSH~

Starting My Personal Programs !!!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:43:20 GMT

This Part of my Blogs are programs that i made for myself !!! They really did work too. Made you guys might want to try it !!! lol !!! the first one is ...

I know i said this billion of times ???? Part 1-5 i think i was good for me !!!

My next Program was called...

Side Effects !!!

Omg, that was my best program i love them all ok Enjoy !!

just thinking way to much ???

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:37:57 GMT

school and life thats two things that are really on my mind right now? i guess because im going to college in like a year or so? im thinking about my life and my unborn kids? i know right just a little to early ! to be thinking about that! but i want my kids to have the best? private schools , new outfits from the most high price stores ! i want my kids to feel like a million bucks every where they go? not just for the kids but for me and my wife ? but lastly i just been feeling very very happy with my self. i been just following the lord . i even join the worship team at church ! i love singing ! i want the lord just to use me ? well i have to go ? bye ! ~joshua~

Just living my life, one day at a time!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:37:14 GMT

Hey whats up! Guess what im bloging on my phone cool or what. Im doing fine just feel old! Have you ever looked in the mirror and you saw a new you ? I did i saw a stronger and better joshua! I hope i can find that hidden power. My heart is just weak for love me and my ex are starting to talk again ? Lust is a bitch ! :-( im just trying to live with it. But hey i just need some time think about it. Well im getting older my body trying very hard to keep me alive. I dont treat my temple as well it needed to be? God got me this far! now im trying something new ? Pushing myself to help others . Like when i went downtown with my friend and i saw a homeless lady and treat her out lunch! It was fun to help someone else lol . Well im sleepy so good night ! Ttyl ~josh~

6 weeks to many days and hours do who is counting !!!! Update on me??

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:20:55 GMT

Hey, Everyone !!!
I'm so Sorry about my very long update !!!
Happy New Year to everyone !!!
Omg a lot has happen in 6 weeks with me !!!
Well i'm still doing good my famliy is doing fine !!!
I'm just chilling that is all !! My christmas was Merry !!!
My New Year's was New !!! Nothing really been happening?
I'm fine but still a little lonely !!! But i made myself a BIG PROMISE to myself i'm not worrying about girls or relationships !!!
To me girls are nothing BUT EVIL COWS !!!!

I had enough of trying to find the right girl !!!!
Well i'm going to find to find True Love even if it Kills My Azz !!!
I getting tried of being so Lonely !!!
Look i had my heart broken to many times !!!
But to be real i can't be in a relationship right now ???
I'm not ready !!! Maybe summer time i started finding my true love !!!

Well prom invites are coming up soon??? I really want to go but no date !!! I wanted to go with my best friend but she wants someone who is more Sexy !!! I guess !!! But whatever ???
I wish i can't find someone but i guess i just going to be at home by myself and just skip this dance like every other school dance !!!
:-(

Omg, The Super Bowel is this weekend ???
But guess what i have to work ? Does that suck ?
Working can be a bitch !!!! But hey i'm getting that money !!!

I'm so sad Lately i guess i will bounce back up !!!!
See you soon !!!
~josh~

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy !!!!

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 22:12:05 GMT

Its that time of the year again ???
CHRISTMAS !!

I'm so happy !!!
I got gifts for all my Friends and Family !!!
but guess what me and my mom is doing for Christmas!!
We are donating Money and Toys to the Beaten Women and Children of Chicago !!!

It feels so good to help others this holiday of 2007 !!!
I can't wait to spend time with all my friends !!!
Sharing and Exchanging Gifts !!!

My Family is doing something else too this holiday !!!
We are only a loud to buy one person in are famliy a gift !!!
That is just really weird but i guess it will work out fine !!!
Well i see you guys Soon !!!

Happy Holidays !!!
Joshua

The Death of thing that beats in my Chest !!!

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 20:51:07 GMT

I have to go to work tell you guys later !!!

Long time no see ?????

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 21:13:28 GMT

Hey,
Everyone
It has been a long time since we talked !!!
I'm just here to give everyone a update !!!
Well i'm still working at walgreens on the 7th it will be 3 months since i worked there !!!!
My family is doing ok !!!
But i'm just kind of lonely ???
I just in someone in my life ???
:-(
To me i'm starting to think the reason i'm don't have anyone i my life is because...
I'm Ugly !!!
Image is the new thing right now ???
Some women not all of them look at how big or how short they are ???
I'm not just saying only women do it !!!!
Men are just as wrong as women are !!!!
I was reading my lil sister myspace mail today !!!
Because i was making sure that she wasn't talking to any Old Men !!!!

Then i saw a message from my Ex: Girlfirend !!!!
Talking about my image !!!
I was really hurt by it !!!
Then i read her Livejournal !!!
She talked about how much she needs a boyfirend !!!
I love her so much !!!
I buy her things treat her out to eat !!!
I will even died for this young lady !!!
Now that is true love !!!!
But what i'm i doing wrong !!!!
NOTHING !!!
Because,
What all people care about is the 4 letter word called...
IMAGE !!!!!
But besides that i'm cool so i see you later !!!!
Love ya !!!
~josh~

Omg its been a long time !!! Hello my old friend !!! LoL !!!

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 18:26:41 GMT

Hello,
         People of Lj !!
                                   Its has been a long time my friend !!!
Everything with me is now much better then before !!! My life is just great now !!! I started working at walgreens in parkforest !!! It is super fun much better then my old job !!! The people here are much more caring and real then crazy...
DOLLAR VILLAGE. But even since i quit that store it teach me alot about myself and that working is real !!! Nothing that should be handle lightly !!! I thought Walgreens will be one of the easy and laid back jobs !!! But the Hell its not !! Walgreens is on of the most hardest job i ever worked !!! But i love it though !!! School is back in session and it SUCKS so bad !!! I had homework to my eyeballs!!!  HUH WHAT CAN YOU DO !!!! Then my moms b-day came on the the 26th !!! Of this month !! So me and my sister and my best firend and others people went to the china star the food was good and i think my friend had a good time !!! Well i have to go to may next class !!!! bye

~josh~

wake up world !!!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 21:28:01 GMT

out to 1 or 2 people that’s fine.
At least MY conscience is clear...HOW ABOUT YOURS?

--You have to click 'Reply To Poster', and then copy and paste in a different bulletin or you won’t get the whole bulletin…
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.. <msprm name="allowScriptAccess" value="never" /> <msprm name="allowNetworking" value="internal" /> <msprm name="movie" value="http://media.imeem.com/m/z1FAyIIYmI" /> ..
Wake up and pay attention!

Turn Up Your Speakers & Listen!

Why do people commit suicide?

Why do people cut themselves?

Why do girls become anorexic and bulimic?

Why do kids bring guns to school?

Why do kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them?

Why do girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys?

Why cant people show their sexuality freely, without worrying about being judged?

In the Bill Of Rights, it says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are we so afraid to speak up for ourselves?

I KNOW WHY!

"Whores"

"Goths"

"Emos"

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN HALF OF THEM!

Society in general

IS THIS AMERICAN?

IS THIS THE NATION FIGHT AND WE LIVE IN WARS TO SUPPORT?

I AM SICK OF IT!
Stereotypes, and everything else.
I want to live in a good place, without suicide, rape, murder, and JUDGMENT!

IF THIS HAD ANY AFFECT ON YOU REPOST IT!

No, a ghost will not rape your dog.
You wont have relationship problems
No you won’t die in 7 days.
BUT you will have the guilt on your shoulders that you didn’t try to get the message across.
I want to stop the madness.
If I only reached

Things are getting better !!!

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 17:00:17 GMT

My life is finally getting back on track !!! Last week i did something that i thought i will never do !!! I had my own prayer retreat !!! But in my retreat i read 10 books of the bible !!! Then i prayed for 2 hours a day !! Then i write down everything i had problems with !! Then when i finished my prayer retreat !! I prayed one last time !!! Then i burned my problem sheet !!! But right now you guys have to listen to me !!! What i'm about to tell you is true !! When i burned the paper with all my problems on it i heard voices !!! That scared the crap out of me !!! I guess the devil was pissed off at me !!! LoL !! Well i guess i showed that devil !!! Because things at home are getting so much better !!! I really hadn't been this happy in a month !!! i'm just so happy !! I had a great phone call with a girl i been having a crush on !! I had asked her on the phone does she is have feelings for me !!! But she really didn't want to answer right now !!! I was ok with that !!! I told when she was ready to let me know!!! But i told her not to rush !!! Because i got years to wait on her answer!!!
So my mom has her internview next week !!! So she might get her job back !!! I hope so!!! Things are getting back in place once more!!! LoL !! She you guys later !!
~josh~

FRIDAY THE FUCKING 13TH !!!!

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:44:49 GMT

Friday was the worst day for me !!!
I finally QUIT my job!!! It was just not for me !!! Besides that what had happen my mom had almost killed us in car on the highway !!! It was just crazy !!! But my Best Firend made my day a little more helpful !! I just think god that i have a friend like her!! She is a great blessing to me !!! If she is reading this i Love ya sister !!!! LoL !!! But my weekend was cool!! Me and my mom toke my little sister and my cuzs to Kiddieland !!!! I was still a little sad so i thought Kiddieland will make it worst!! But it was super fun!!! LoL !! Plus on sunday everyone was going to camp !!! I didn't have any money to go i was so sad!!!
Plus lastly my mom might be getting her job back!!! YAY !! I was so happy !!! We just got to wait and see what happens !!! LoL !!!! But i going to target the store !!! And get me a job there can't wait !!! Well see you guy later!!!
~josh~

This is the way out !!!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:01:47 GMT

Had you ever had the interest in something but it never worked out ??? That is what i feel now !!! Me getting a job i think i was a bad idea ??? I'm the only person at my job during the time of 10am - 1pm !!! So in those four hours i got a lot of work to do !! Its so much work i don't think i can handle it by myself !!! I'm starting to think that this job isn't for me !!! I'm sorry i trying not to think like that !! But ??? I just don't think its me!!

~josh~