joshua2009

Santa didn't come. My mom was like, "wow...we didn't have time to get not one present..." Oh well. I've treated myself to nice things this year. So really, Christmas came every month. Plus, all I wanted was luggage. And well, cash, but lugggage is the only material thing I need that I wanted as a present now (I need a laptop, but don't want to get it until closer to my departure date). I'll get it tomorrow.

Speaking of nice things, sometimes, I feel like I can be really self-absorbed, and kinda selfish, but it's really just survival for my mental sanity. I buy myself the best just so I feel like I deserve it. Growing up, I didn't feel like I deserved much of anything. I tried to put others first. Now, I still think of others, but not before myself first, more often than not, only because I want *someone* to think of me. No one really does anymore. Not just in terms of presents, but in terms of having a relationship with me.

__ria sent me a Christmas text yesterday. joshua2009 sent me one today. My sisters got me a couple presents. My grandpa sent me a Christmas card. And those were all the people who thought of me this holiday.

One person/community has updated in the past hour or so. Lol. Glad you all are enjoying your holiday.

Today's funeral was nice. We went to my grandma's house for a few hours, and then Raven and I left to do some last-minute shopping. I also picked out my gift from Raven: a huge backpack from Sports Authority to use as my carry-on when I go to Spain. I didn't want a carry-on that I had to actual carry in my hands because I want them free for my 2 check-in bags...which I'm hoping to eventually get as presents from Mom and Dad. It probably won't be until after the holiday, since they've been busy this past week or so with funeral preparation.

I'm excited for the new year. Like I mentioned, I wanna try to enjoy the present and not just live off of my dreams...but I am really excited for my dreams and goals. I'm really hoping I reach all the goals I set for next year.

I'm excited, and nervous, for the next decade. I turn 25 next year. I'll be 34 when the decade is over. Hopefully, by then, Spain, grad school, career, husband, house, and if I want, kids, will result before that's over. Probably in that order...although I'm kinda hoping I at least *meet* the husband relatively soonish, like within the next few years.

I been thinking for a long time now about my future Christmas plans, I am thinking about doing a Tyler Perry movie lol and for to a mountain lodge for the holidays. I am only 18 and I am even thinking about kids? “I know, my life has not even started and I want to start a family? “ I have been having dreams about me being a single parent and not married? I mean, I really want to get married and do the family thing, but I have my plan to wait until I have my Masters lol ! But, I ask some close friends about another Idea I had when I am 33 and still lonely lol. For the last five years of my life I wanted to adopt twin boys. I would name one ( Connor O'Neal Johnson) and the other ( Daniel Alexander Johnson). I would rise them by myself and then we there are like 4 or 5 I would love to adopt a baby girl (Makayla Nicole Johnson).  I would hope to be happy and my child can have anything there hearts desire! But, I thought about it? Let’s say if i found the right women, would that ruin my chances of getting married if I have three kids? Any who, with the holidays I been thinking about this year and hoping to see the plans for the future! With school, friends, family, and anything else I see coming my way. Christmas is in the morning and I been hearing rumors of new phones coming my way. LOL me and my sister has been looking around looking every where for these phones and not yet found them. i guess I have to wait until the morning lol !!!!!

Merry Christmas !!!!

-Joshua Johnson <3

I'm late, I know.

Brother has beer in his room. Sister snitches. Brother gets grounded for 3 months. He then posts this to Facebook. And it's made its way around the internet.

Why you don't snitch on siblings

I was like "o_O lol O_o." Like, wow, that's some "revenge." I can only imagining what damage this has done to "Katie." Who writes stuff like this down anyway?

Oh wow. I should say chocolate. This is coming from someone who gets irritable when she realizes there's no chocolate in the house. I *need* my cell phone more, and really, chocolate is just standing in the way of me getting my hot body, so it should go. I mean, if it had to, lol

I haven't had a chance to read or update LJ lately. I'll try to catch up this weekend or next week since I'll be on ~*break*~. Unpaid of course, but I'm glad to get the time off. Sadly, I'm not sure how much will be spent resting, since I need to work on my TESOL certifications, research, GRE stuff, and cleaning.

I've decided to stop trying to contact Eric and Jade. About damn time. If they want to include me in their lives, they're more than welcome to, but I've gotten tired of trying to include them in mine.

My great-uncle Herbert died and his funeral is tomorrow. Christmas eve. This will be the 2nd funeral this year that I've attended where I didn't know of the person's existence until they died.

Our Christmas brunch is going to be held at my grandma's house. I can't even articulate how exciting that is. I get to LEAVE lol. Usually my siblings and their children come late and stay ALL DAY. It's like, I get you're family, but really, you can leave now. Really.

I'm trying to figure out New Year's Eve plans. I want to go to a nice club, but no one else definitely wants to or can go. I might go by myself, but that could be depressing. I figure I might just hang out with Raven and Josh. On the bright side...uh, I'd be drinking less alcohol, so fewer empty calories. Lol

Exercising and weight loss in general is going ok, I guess. I need to figure out a way to run/go to a fitness center while on break. I want to reach my 10% weight loss goal by my birthday, 1/19. I have about 3 - 4 more pounds to lose to get there. I lost all the weight I've gained during the holidays thus far, and I'm hoping I don't put on too much weight over these next couple weeks. Worst case scenario, I'll do some exercise DVDs.

Random, but I'm really looking forward to this:

I watched a couple come out of a dog grooming parlor. The dog was adorable but it still acted silly; like child in a hugo boss suit. It didnt fit the dog's personalty. I thought 'I'm no longer a dog person because, I think dogs are immature'.

Now wait, I dont hate dogs. I just dont want one. I would rather have a cat. I'm second guessing people who have dogs.
This is not an invitation to war, if you own a dog. When I was a boy, I loved dogs. Now, I dont want them touching me.
I dunno.

Ok. I went back to Home Depot. *see last entry*
I made up an excuse of needing more plumbing stuff.




She was working!
Yes, I'm probably stalking her...but I'm a man, I do stupid things. Lets move on.

I, being a weasel, took a long distance picture of her. Look, I couldn't just say, "May I take a picture of you? I want to plaster it on the internet, and well...God knows what else." in front of everyone. I cant just tell her I'm attracted. Who does that, right?




Then, I picked up PVC pipe primer and a paint brush. I went to the counter and I asked, "May I return these if I don't use them?"
This was scientific proof that a man's neurological level drops to a second grade education, when he is in the presence of a sista.
I stood there thinking to myself, "Its Home Depot stupid! Its the world biggest chain of stores! You can return ANYTHING in America!"
She said, "Yes you can return them."
Thats when I noticed the humongous platinum/diamond wedding set on her finger. The ring was like being sprayed with a can of weasel repellent. I walked away, sad, defeated. A tool.

Yes, Its been about a month since an entry.
Depressed. Haven't shaved. In need of a haircut. I just, stopped.
but hey...I mailed all my cards and gifts last week, Thursday.

Yesterday I went to the library and I checked out this book. I like it, so I took a blurry picture of it...



This morning I walked around the yard. I planned on doing the laundry and goof-about in a miserable state of depression. I noticed a few blossoms. They only bloom near Christmas. The blooms remind me that God gives everything a beautiful characteristic. One detail which makes it attractive. Nothing remains ordinary forever. I took a picture of them.




I felt better. Shaved. Decided to try to have fun, then...the electricity went off. So, I waited in silence. The clocks flashed 12:00 for a few seconds then the electricity went off again. This happened for about three hours before I decided to call the electric company. The utility truck arrived in ten minutes and the workers informed me that the electric lines to the house are in proper working order.

I decided to replaced a circuit breaker. Drove to Home Depot. Fell IN LOVE with the dark-skinned cashier but because I'm depressed and I feel pessimistic about love, I didn't ask for her number. I took a blurry picture of the circuit breaker after I replaced it.



The power returned.


Then, I noticed a leak under the sink. So, I went back to Home Depot. Stood in the long line, ignored the "10 items or less" line, because I needed to experience Her again. This time I said "Hey". Smooth right?
Go ahead, call me an idiot.

I replaced a pipe under the sink, and I took a blurry picture of it.




As the sun was going down, I realized that I didn't accomplish the mission of laundry. I went outside and I noticed a bee, stuck to the back of the car. I popped the trunk but it wouldn't fly away. I didn't want to swat at it because I was afraid it would sting me. So, I took a blurry picture of it.

Eh, its the holiday's, “Yes that time of the year!” I am for once broke this year for Christmas, so I am only getting gifts for a  certain people this year. like, my mother and sister, plus a few friends such as Raven, Reve, and Elliott. I mean that’s true how bad my wallet has toke a beating in my department of finances. So, I am in the middle of devolving a finance plan for these next four years. Like, with enquiries such as future trips, investing in stock, and taking a accounting class. I am totally feeling the stress of a person in the mid 30’s and having finance problem’s. Last night, I went to the movies with my friend Reve and we saw the Princess and the Frog, it was a good movie. It gave black people and women a good name. Lol that chick had two jobs and was working day and night to get hers and I was not blaming her lol.  So I am thinking about working at least two jobs next semester, one at the school and a late night job at Wal-Mart in my school’s town. Like, from 9pm-3am kind of swifts. I truly need money and with my parents breaking the bank so much, I have really no choice? I am just going to have to work hard. I wish I was like Reve, I look up to her. Because, even when she is going through something she picks up the pieces and keep going. She works for her mom downtown and its a job. Don’t know how much she gets paid but its a paycheck lol. Either way, I like her because she is head strong! So I am also thinking about my two year plan for school and what I want to do with my life. I am considering of relocating in Miami Florida for school or California Los angles. But, I want to have at seven thousand dollars saved up, by 2013. I am also looking for internships at mental health centers. So, I can get my two years of experience so I can get a job when I  get my degree. Well, College right now is ok I guess? I feel that I am alone right now. But, I am going to do well I have my friends like Reve, Raven, Tony, and many more. Man, Tony has been my Rock since I been at college. I see him as my life support, that thing which is keeping me breathing at this point. Like, no homo I wish I could live with him. Like, he is more supportive of my life goals and choices I had made. It’s  great to have someone like him in your life (^.^) *Smile little one* lol that’s a sticker I have now. lol. But, yeah I really want to have a friend go with me when i relocate and get a place together. “Oh did I mention Texas as well on my relocate list.” But, yeah I really thinking about this. Well, in other news I am still single and loving the life of being single lol. But, I am considering of going on the dating market this summer. So I am working out and doing some weightwatchers stuff, I just need work hard and have a workout buddy too. I mean the thing I will do for the four letter word L-O-V-E ! I just need to find the right person, who is good for me and not just jump into the relationship. I want to do it the right way this time around. Not, where I am seeing her breast on the first date. Like, I want to call her a friend go on a couple dates, and have a non-sexual relationship. Kissing here and there, and having a good time. But, I am considering of just staying single until after I get my masters and then do the family thing. Man, being God’s warrior for Christ is a pretty hard job. lol I was telling Reve one day, “ It seems that I can’t get a damn break with God” “ I mean dang God knows I am struggling as it is. But, it seems to shit on my parade all the time. But I got use to it and I learn and pray and keep God in life and keep going. It doesn’t matter how hard I have to work. I am still wearing God’s Armor on me and I feel safe.

- Joshua Johnson

so_aboveitall come baaaaaaaack.

Some things in my life- ok. Some other things- not ok. Some other things- more than ok. Overall- too much going on for me to even enjoy the more than ok parts.

( Work annoyances )

( Research )

( Weight loss and exercise )

( OkCupid guy )

( Other )